It's Only Forks
by Cabaret Amour
Summary: How do you seduce an all-to-willing "vampire"? *WARNING: This is more of a RPATZZ/EDWARD thing, and has sexual content, though a lot has been edited out to make it acceptable to post here.*
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - Take Me Home**

"Anna, relax, it's just Forks." I laughed, trying to calm down my friend. We we're just moving into our new house, a house that was located in the same town in which our favorite book series took place. Forks, Washington.

"No," she screamed, opening up the kitchen drawer nearest the sink, "THIS IS JUST A FORK", she held up a silver eating utensil.

"You're an idiot." I grinned. It was true, she really was. Although when compared to me she did seem much more... normal? No, more sane. Yes, sane was a better word. Compared to me, Anna seemed sane.

"You're one to talk." She stated flatly, dropping the fork back into the drawer and slamming it shut.

"Yeah, yeah are you getting your ass around or what? I mean you can wear what you have on if you want, but I'm not waiting around for the next two hours while you fix yourself up. We have to get down town!" Though we had only arrived to our new home late last night, there was no time to unpack. It was September 13th, the official Stephenie Meyer/Twilight day in this small town of Forks. What better a time to sight see? We would be joining a multitude of squeeling fangirl tourists, no doubt. The plan was to visit the school for lunch, and then to La Push beach. If I was lucky I could convince Anna to cliff dive with me. The chances, I knew, were slim.

"I'm going, jeez" And with that she was racing up the stairs. Undoubtedly ravaging through her unpacked suitcase for the perfect outfit. As if anyone of any importance would see us. I wasn't even sure Stephenie Meyer herself would be attending the festivities.

--

By noon we were out the door and headed towards Forks High School. The crowds were unbelievable in their mass. There was no way we would all fit into the school... were they going to break us into groups? I sighed. Whatever, at least I could go back to livejournal and blog about how I attended. It didn't really matter much if I ate an official Forks High meal, I suppose.

"Well this looks like fun." She was always so damn sarcastic.

"I'm going to keep driving, maybe we can meet everyone at the beach?"

"Yes! We can be the first ones there, easy to find parking." she smiled.

We giggled together as we realized we were passing the treaty line. It was an inside thing, reserved for only the obsessive fans knowledge. But it made us both giddy as we began thinking about the series.

"I don't believe it." I stated, my heart racing.

"What?" Anna turned to look at me as though she was questioning my sanity.

"LOOK!" I pointed straight ahead to the car we were about to park directly behind.

"Oh my god!" The car burst into another fit of laughter as we stared at the Silver Volvo. They had REALLY gone all out for this.

"Lets go look for Edward Cullen" I joked. "Already on it" she was practically dancing away from the vehicle and headed to the beach. It wasn't a bad day either, no rain. A surprise for me, I must admit I expected there to be a downpour with heavy winds and freezing temperatures from what I had read and seen in the movie trailers.

The beach was empty. It almost felt as though we were the only two humans left on the planet as we watched the waves rise and crash against the shore.

"Kind of creepy" I shivered.

"Oh stop being retarded, we only have an hour or so to enjoy this before the rest of the screaming girls get here."

That was true. Better soak it up while I could. I smiled looking over at the driftwood that I recognized as where Bella and Jacob had sat and talked about the legend of blood suckers. Oh this move was definitely a good idea. But I was certain that within year I was going to need twilight addiction counseling, if I didn't already. I began wandering around towards the woods.

"Where are you going?" Anna hollered.

"Just walking." I wanted to at least get to the edge of the trees, and see if I could spot any kind of wildlife at all. Seeing such would give me a whole new sence of giddyness as I imagined the Cullen family hunting. I wasn't too far into the wooded area when I heard what sounded to be the snapping of a branch. Expecting to see some sort of tiny creature, I turned to its direction. At that moment my heart stopped, my jaw hung open, and my breathing came to an abrupt halt.

"Are you okay?" The beautiful boy spoke, his voice more breathtaking than I could have ever imagined possible.

"I uhm... I... yeah I'm fine" I finally managed.

"I'm Rob." He held out his hand and I took it into my own. Ok so it was just a hand shake, but I was meeting Robert Pattinson. Edward Cullen himself.

"Crystal" I smiled, collecting my composure.

"Nice to meet you. Here alone are you?"

"No, I'm here with a friend. We were going to go to the school, but it was crowded. Came here instead."

"Oh, that bad over at the school huh?"

"Terrible. We almost turned around and went back home." I stated, lying, but trying to make the point.

"Leave forks just because of overpopulation? Sounds extreme."

"No way would we leave Forks. Actually, we just moved into a house on Maxfield road. Kind of out in the middle of nowhere, huge two story white colonial." I smiled.

"A Cullen house." He grinned.

"EXACTLY!" I was so amused just to hear him say 'Cullen'. This was sad.

"So where's your friend?" Rob asked, a smile still accenting his face.

"She's back on the beach, I probably should get back to her before she thinks I've been abducted by aliens."

"Or eaten by Vampires" he added. Oh wow, was he perfect or what? Still I hated to walk back. I know it was wrong to leave Anna alone, but I did not under any circumstances want to leave where I was at this very moment. "I'll walk back with you." he offered. SCORE!

Slowly we headed back toward the beach. I could see Anna sitting on the piece of driftwood I had marveled over only minutes before I had walked away. She was facing the water, seemingly paying no mind to anything around her. I began whispering my devious thoughts outloud. Surprised by how easy it was to talk to such a popular actor.

It wasn't hard to sneak up from behind her. I tried to keep my insane laughter under my breath as I watched him bend over slightly and put his head towards the side of her neck, making it appear as though he was going to bite her. She didn't move, how could she not realize he was there? A growl escaped his lips, that was sure to get her attention. Her jump was followed by a scream that I was sure had echoed through the town. I could no longer hold the laughter. This was just too unreal. And I was sure Anna had wet herself.

"Oh... my... god" Was all she could manage.

"Rob this is my friend, Anna" I offered, "Anna this is Rob". I was still chuckling.

"Nice to meet you Anna" He had the most beautiful smile.

"Are, uhm, you here for the festival?" Anna asked. It was a stupid question, we both knew it, but nothing else was coming to mind for either of us.

"I am, but supposed to be in hiding until after 8, kind of in character appearance to uphold."

"I don't think this is the best place to hide, considering"

"Small town, not many options."

"This is true" I agreed.

"Didn't you say you just moved into the closest place to a the Cullen house that Forks has to offer?" Rob asked, again flashing a smile.

"You told him?" Anna looked at me like she was going to have me beheaded. "Great, now everyone is going to think we're over the top crazies. Thanks Crys. Seriously."

"Actually," he spoke up, saving me from my impending doom, "I'd like to see it, sounds pretty interesting to me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Ten Easy Steps To Seduce An All-To-Willing Virgin**

"And this will be the office, where we will hang millions of antique pictures," I gestured, finishing up the tour. Anna was again shooting me the glare of death. She was undoubtedly embarrassed by all of my Twilight references. Of course we were both in on the decorating plans, though she was not one to share it with the world. At one point I had mentioned hanging a wooden sign on the front of the house stating that this was the Cullen Residence, and I'm pretty sure she was going to have a coronary. Thank God I was states away from her when I brought it up.

"And now..." Anna spoke up, more comfortable around our guest now that we had spent nearly an hour together joking around, "I have to step out for a cigarette. Do you smoke?" She asked, turning to Rob.

"Only after sex" he laughed, and for the second time today flashed the crooked smile we had become obsessed with.

"Well then," was her only response. I don't think I could have come up with anything better myself short of, "care to have sex, then?" But I was quite certain that wouldn't go over to big. I would probably make Rob uncomfortable, and wind up with me being knocked upside the head by an angry roommate.

"I'll be back," she finally added, running down the steps and out the front door. She had already become accustomed to sitting on the front porch when she was in need of fulfilling her hourly smoking habit.

"So, like the house?" I asked, turning my attention back to Rob once we were alone.

"It's very nice. which one did you say was Edward's room?" he asked.

Okay, now I was a tad embarrassed. Maybe I had gone a little too far with the room descriptions.

"That one there" I pointed.

Rob began walking over to the room. The door let out a slight creaking noise as he slowly pushed it open. "Just a couch and a stereo system, very Edward."

"I guess you would know, huh?" I joked. Where was Anna? It seemed as though an entire ten minutes had gone by with no sign of her return into the house.

"Anna!" I called down to her from the top of the stairs, knowing she had left the door open and could surely hear me. "What are you doing?!"

"Chill, woman, I'm almost done," She called back.

"Puff faster!" I demanded. I don't know why I was against being alone with Rob, but I had to walk away to catch my breath for just a moment. I had left him sitting on the couch in what was now officially dubbed "Edward's room."

Finally she came inside and walked up the stairs to meet me.

"Where's Rob?"

"He's sitting on the couch in the room."

"Are you kidding? That is so hot."

"I know, right? Our very own Edward Cullen is in our very own Cullen house. This is fucking unreal." We were both keeping our voices as low as humanly possible. Thank God the actor didn't have super sensitive hearing or the ability to mind-read. We would so be screwed. "Do you have your camera, we could definitely coax him into letting us take a few shots."

"I'd love to take a few shots with Robert Pattinson," Anna smiled, pulling out the camera from her pocket.

"Fucking alcoholic."

"Shut up, you love me. Now let's go."

We both started walking back to the room, our hearts pounding out of our chests. Could you imagine what everyone would think? Couldn't you just see the reaction of every little pubescent teenager as they saw the photos we were going to snap? Maybe we could get him to bite us as a pose. I had seen a photograph online where he had hovered over a baby with his jaw open wide. Mmm, the thought was too much.

"Hey Rob," Anna shot him a smile from the doorway of the bedroom. "Mind if we take some pictures with you?" The camera dangled from it's cord wrapped snuggly around her wrist.

"Under one condition..." he prompted. Oh now, I hoped he wasn't going to make us pay him for pictures, there was no way we could afford that. We both stared at him waiting for his finish. "You have to tell me something."

"What?" I questioned.

"Anything you want to know, just ask," Anna added.

"If say this Edward Cullen was real, and he was here, what would you try doing to him?"

We looked at each other then back to Rob.

"Rape him," we nodded at the same time. It was sad that we both had sex on our minds so much, but how could we not when thinking of Edward? Of course we wanted the whole boyfriend - sweet, caring, and overprotective side as well. But right now, we would settle. The point was moot anyhow, Edward Cullen was not real, and he was not here.

"I really do have to get back to Bella, girls, it was nice meeting you." His accent suddenly disappeared. He started to walk toward the door as if he were going to push past us. I knew what he was doing here. No way, I thought. He was playing in character, in hopes we would rape him. How insane. Robert-freaking-Pattinson wanted to have sex with us?!

When our heart rates started to climb back up from their complete stopping, we blocked the doorway.

"She's no good for you, Edward," I played along.

"She's seeing the dog behind your back," Anna chimed in.

"I don't know what you're talking about, please step out of the way, I don't want anyone to get hurt. It's hard enough me being here around the two of you as long as I have."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I prompted, Anna and I both shooting him our most evil of glares.

"I mean I could have killed you at any given moment, and don't think I haven't wanted to. Every time your heart speeds up I can hear your blood racing through your veins and I just want to pounce. But I've controlled myself, and I don't know how much longer I can."

"Oh Edward," Anna laughed, "what happens if we can't control ourselves?"

"What... do... you mean?" His voice was genuinely confused. I had to hand it to Rob, seriously he was one hell of an actor, and we weren't doing too bad, ourselves.

"Edward..." I started, "If you don't want us to tell the entire town about your family, you'll forget about going home to Bella tonight. I've got a better idea as to how you can spend your sleepless hours," I grinned. God this was fun. I always said I was going to be an actress, and now with my best friend by my side, we were about to 'rape' Rob.

"You wouldn't." his face lit up with a fake worried expression. Truly, it looked sincere.

"Try us," Anna demanded.

In perfect sync we started taking slow steps towards him. He, in turn, began slowly taking steps backward, stumbling and knocking himself down onto the couch.

"What do you want?" Rob finally asked, no doubt he was about to cave in to us.

"Stand up," Anna told him.

He did, staring directly into her eyes as if she had full control over him now.

"Drop the pants."

"WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?" He was clearly angry. Well, the Edward portion of him was, anyway. This was obviously exactly what Rob was going for, and we were playing into it ever so perfectly. The hard-on through his pants was just too much to hide. I found myself focusing on it while Anna made her demands. Once the pants were dropped and his boxers were down I knew it would stick straight out from his perfect body, calling to us, welcoming anything we could possibly do to him. My mouth watered at the thought. God, I wanted that cock.

"Far from it," Anna laughed "Now drop them!"

"You could be killed! Is that what you want? There are easier ways. I could just kill you now, you know, to stop you. I don't need to give in to anything you say. This blackmail is absurd."

"Don't you?" I looked up from the bulge my eyes had previously been fixated on. "People know you're here, they know you're with us, we come up missing and then what?"

"Goddamnit," he mumbled. Oh, this was getting good. He swallowed, then, slowly, looking at the floor while doing so, unfastened his belt. His pants fell to the floor within seconds, revealing a lose fitting pair of blue plaid boxer shorts.

"See, my dear Edward, you're happy to see us. You want this."

"Don't do this, Crystal, Anna, I'm begging you. Just let me leave, nobody will get hurt if you just let me leave." He begged. Best actor, EVER. Hands down.

"What are you going to with me?" he asked, voice quivering.

Anna bent over and gently touched her lips to his, sliding her hands down his still-covered chest.

"Rob, you might want to breath. I mean, I know Edward doesn't have to and all, but we don't need a dead actor on our hands here, too much bad publicity," I joked with him, trying to cover my insane lust and excitement.

He smiled, taking in a deep breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Getting Comfortable**

We had been confined to that room for what seemed like forever. Finally, Rob moved back and collapsed on the floor.

_"You two are... there are no words."_

Anna was completely still on the floor. Limp. _"No. You. All you."_

"Was that alright?" He asked her, genuinely concerned with the act that had just taken place. _"Are you hurting?"_

_"If I am, I'd never know it,"_ she grinned. He returned her smile.

_"You know, I can go again."_ This was directed toward me. I was sure he was feeling bad about what I'd just missed out on.

_"I don't doubt that,"_ I started,_ "but I'm kind of thirsty. You don't have to leave tonight, do you?"_

_"I can stay as long as you like,"_ Rob promised. The three of us stood now, finding our clothing that had been scattered across the room.

_"Nope, you can't have these,"_ I was holding up his jeans, no way was I giving them back, I was enjoying the boxers far too much.

"_Fine,"_ he replied, _"it's you who has to deal with staring at my half-naked body, not me."_

_"Oh, believe me, we don't mind." _Anna had just pulled her shirt back on and was staring at his bare chest. _"I don't think you can ever get enough of a half-naked Robert Pattinson."_

Our conversation was interrupted by a loud ringing sound. It didn't take much to recognize this noise as the doorbell, although we had never heard the tone before. I glanced at Anna. _"We don't know anybody in this town, who in the world is that?"_ I asked. It was more or less a rhetorical question, as I knew Anna was just as stumped as I was.

We both ran down the stairs to open the door.

_"Is Rob here?"_

Now standing in our doorway was Kristen Stewart, the actress who had co-starred with Rob in the film adaptation of Twilight, and was currently working with him as they filmed the second movie in the series.

After a few seconds of staring, I finally found my breath. _"Bell... err... Kristen, hi, come on in."_ I realized I hadn't answered her question, but my mind was just a tad bit hazy. I moved aside and allowed her to step in, far enough so that I could close the door behind her.

Rob stepped out of the kitchen holding a chilled Diet Pepsi. It was so adorable how comfortable he now was in our home. It felt as though the three of us had been friends for years, when in reality we had only just met eight hours ago and had a six hour play session. Kristen's jaw dropped as she glared at her co-star.

_"Rob, what the fuck are you doing here parading around in your boxers with two chicks?!"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Overreaction**

The happiness and excitement that Anna and I had felt since bringing Rob home was now fading. An uncomfortable atmosphere was now dancing throughout the room.

_"We'll, uhm, give you some privacy,"_ I told them as Anna and I walked back up the stairs.

Without so much as blinking Rob replied to Kristen's question. _"I'__m hanging out?" _His voice was slightly amused.

_"You're hanging out at a house you've never been to before with girls you've never met before? Do you know how insane you sound?"_ She was obviously angry.

Anna and I listened from the top of the staircase, hiding behind the wall. We were debating the possibilities as to why Kristen would be so upset, and what business was it of hers where Rob was or what he was wearing? Or not wearing, for that matter...

_"Wow, she seems like a real bitch,"_ I whispered.

_"SHHHH!" Anna replied._

_"Don't shush me!"_

_"Fine, SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME LISTEN!"_ Her whisper came out more like a scream.

_"I don't see how any of this is your concern, Kris, and how did you know where I was, anyhow?"_

We focused our attention back to their conversation.

_"You didn't show up tonight. Taylor saw the Volvo turn up here earlier. I tried calling, you never answered. I wanted to know what was going on."_

_"Nothing is going on."_

_"Nothing? It sure as hell looks like something to me!"_

_"For God's sake, would you calm yourself down? Kristen, we are not together. Your boyfriend is here with you, remember?"_

_"You know I don't care about him, Rob."_

_"I have to get back to my new friends now."_ He was gesturing her toward the door.

_"Oh, so now the whores are your friends?"_ Her anger was building by the second. Wait, did she just call us whores?!

_"GET OUT KRISTEN!"_ Wow, Rob raising his voice was extremely hot. Dear God, please hold me back from running down the stairs and jumping his bones. Anna and I peeked around the wall to watch her leave.

Kristen moved quickly toward him, arms raised in front of her, palms out. _"NO!"_ She shouted, pushing him into the wall, _"I'm not leaving, not without you! You can't just leave me!"_

Rob stared at her, a bit dazed. "Are you delusional?" he asked, _"We were never together. Now get your hands off of me and leave before we both regret it."_

_"Oh wow, I'm scared, Robert, really. What are you going to do, hit me?"_

We'd had enough, he had asked her to leave twice and she had pushed him into a wall, time to take some action. Anna and I agreed that we would go back downstairs and tell Kristen, ourselves, that it was time she left. Obvious though it was that we had been eavesdropping on their conversation, we stepped out from behind the wall and quickly started down the staircase.

_"Girls, go back upstairs,"_ Rob shot us a quick glance before turning his attention back to her. I could have sworn I had seen a hint of nervousness in his eyes. Why was he so worried? We weren't going to kill her... right away.

_"Yeah, no,"_ I told him. _"Kristen, you need to get out."_ I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of addressing us by the derogatory name she had called us. But if she didn't listen to me now, a lot worse things were about to be said.

_"Whatever, I'm going."_ And with that Kristen turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

I turned back to Rob. _"What was that about?"_

_"Seriously!"_ Anna added, _"Mind you, we've never met the chick, but, given what I've seen, I thought she would be pretty cool. That was just ridiculous!"_

_"Are you sleeping with her?"_ I asked. No need to be embarrassed with personal questions, now.

_"I kissed her once,"_ Rob replied, shifting his glance between us then looking to the floor. _"It was stupid, she's had her boyfriend on the set all throughout filming. I don't know why I did it, vulnerability, I guess."_

_"You care about her?__"_ Anna asked.

_"She's a friend,"_ he stated. _"Well, at least she was."_

_"Go after her,"_ I told him.

_"And leave you both here? All by yourselves? It's going to take more than that to get rid of me girls."_ He lit up his already glorious face with his famous crooked smile. _"Besides,"_ his accent suddenly disappeared and he glared at the two of us with a devious look, _"if I remember correctly, you both know my secret, and I simply can't stand the thought of exposure."_ He started taking slow steps toward us. In return we stepped back, laughing hysterically, and knocking ourselves onto the living room couch.


End file.
